Twisted Fairytale

The tension builds. Your stomach clenches. You know it’s coming. Just around the corner, teasing you, taunting you with its magnificence. Your heart races. Your hands sweat. You want it so badly, have waited for it with what little patience you could muster. And now… looking over the precipice, you jump, expecting euphoria.

Euphoria never comes.

And that’s where I stand. On the precipice of my climax, unable to actually reach it. Argh. Is there anything more frustrating? :-
I’ve spent two years on this book. Two very long years. It’s undergone changes that would make most authors shudder. I’ve learned a lot. Enough to give it the type of life it really needs to thrive. For the past 9 months, I’ve cradled it, whispered sweet nothings into its ear, prepared it for this moment. And here were are.

But while many of our moments together have been intense, this moment fails to give me the shivers I expect from it. This moment has to be… what’s the word I’m looking for… electrifying. Breath-taking. It should make the readers mouths hang open in awe. I want to imagine them lying in bed, their eyes wide, their heads shaking from side to side. No, they would whisper, stunned.

Instead, my climax feels somewhat anti-climactic. Now, I could always go back and rewrite it, but… ok, who am I kidding? You guys know me! You know how badly I suffer from Writer’s OCD. I can barely write a chapter ahead, I doubt I can move on from an unfulfilling climax. *sigh*

I think I’ve psyched myself out. It is only the most massive part of my book. The point I’ve been building to for… well for as long as this idea has been in my head, really.Poor story. So much pressure and it just can’t perform. *snort* It needs some Fiction Viagra.

Moving on. Because if I continue to obsess over it I may cry.

Today’s DWQ:

It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it. ~Oscar Wilde

That’s intense in its simplicity. I mean, think about it. We are what we read. No, not ghosts, or vampires, or shapeshifting dragons. We find emotional release through our books. Laughter, tears, lust, anger, we experience them all through other people’s stories. So what we choose to read says a lot about who we are. Then there are those books that change your perspective on life forever. Those books turn us into the person we’ve always wanted to be. In the end, you benefit either way.

Today’s art comes from vaporiss @ deviantart.com.

Well, I did it. I went on my very first job interview since high school! I’m not sure how to feel. I’m all grown up. Ha, ha. I can both cry and laugh at the strange revelation that brings. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a woman going on 22 years of age. You may think, ah, you’re a baby, but given my circumstances, I’ve lived a lot more than most people think. I mean, hell, I’ve been married for 3 years! Oh goodness… 3 years, that’s insane.

Anyway, back on subject, (forgive my rambling tendencies) I think it’s strange that the jobs I’ve gotten since school have been sort of word of mouth. They’ve totally stifled my interview skillz. Thankfully, I’ve had years of theater training and public speaking to prepare me for such moments. I am all about improvisation. Generally, that gets me through with flying colors. It’s just when something as yummylicious as a job at bookheaven, aka Barnes and Nobles, comes up, well, I tend to get clammy hands.

Overall? I think I did well. Honestly. I was just myself. I smiled, I laughed, I told a story anecdote or two. You know, the usual. The manager really seemed to like me. She was friendly and fun and I thought, yea, I’d love to work with her. Plus, there were a few things she told me which sort of sealed the deal in my mind regarding why this job is my DREAM job (other than being an author, of course) and why I’d be so perfect for it:

• As a cafe employee, I would have to taste all of the products in order to honestly sell them. Ha, ha. *shakes head* I suppose I’ll suffer though having to taste pastries, cheesecakes, teas, coffees, etc. If I must. :- Pashaw! Come on, who can even say that with a straight face?
• Regulars. Since childhood I’ve had this wacky dream of being a waitress. I love the idea of recognizing familiar faces, of building ties to people you don’t really know. There’s something so fun about it, so exhilarating. Imagine, at 9am Wednesday mornings I make a double espresso latte because so and so comes in at 9:10am. And they smile that huge smile of appreciation for remembering. *sigh* I can change the world one latte at a time.
• Did I mention the incredible perks? Can we say book discounts?

Yea. Good stuff. They said they’d call me early next week. I’m going to be like a girl waiting for a guy to call since then. NOBODY better touch the phone. I might get explosive on them.

In other random news, I bought a great pair of sneaks today. I plan to start training for next year’s Labor Day Race. 5k or bust. Maybe it’ll help drop these last 20lbs I’m carrying around. Argh.

Today’s art: mosterd @ deviantart.

NO DWQ today. I’ve babbled enough. Expect one tomorrow though.