It was meant to be a short break. A hiatus, really. Something to help clear my mind of the sleep-deprived haze and allow me to refocus and get my priorities sorted. Honestly, I never expected to be gone this long. I got pulled into a whirlwind of family life that spiraled out of control.
I’m not afraid to admit that I lost myself in the chaos. Kids are a blessing, and they bring a happiness into your life that cannot truly be defined because it is unlike anything else in the world. But they have the ability to create a microcosm of reality. You are busy giving them love and attention and guidance and you do this day in and day out and there are early mornings and super late nights and tears and laughter and vacations and conferences and the calendar days fall away like leaves and you grow older and more tired before you realize that time is passing and you’re helpless to stop it.
The carousel of my reality came to a screeching halt last month when I got a notification, a long overdue notification since I’d neglected my social media so thoroughly in lieu of more time, that my original publisher, Freya’s Bower was closing its doors at the end of the year. It was a strange kind of melancholy. My first contract, my first published work, the first time I’d help a physical copy of my book in my hands. That person I was, before the diapers and the late night feedings and the field trips and the family vacations.
She had been waiting patiently for me… and now she’d tired of waiting. She banged on my door and let herself in and I was unprepared for how I would feel. For how distanced I felt from myself.
It’s often said you can’t pour from an empty cup, so 2017 will be my year of self care. There’s that familiar itch to write again. There are characters and stories whispering tales in my mind’s eye. It will be a snail’s pace, for sure, because I’m not ready to jump in and forego the important things. Kids are kids for such a short time, after all. And their little faces grow older and more mature everyday, breaking my heart in the process. At least I can look back in my old age and know I did well by them by giving them my best, whole-souled.
So what’s coming? I don’t know. I guess we will be finding out together. 🙂 In the meantime, for anyone interested in digital copies of Cinematic Royalty and Dark Hollywood Nights as well as Surfacing, I will be offering them as free reads/downloads. Keep an eye out in the next few weeks for the links.
I’m excited to take this new journey and see where it leads me. And hopefully you’ll come along for the ride. ❤